Don't Make The Asking Out A Big Deal

"Miss," I asked that girl some years back, in front of pretty much a lot of people, "would you do me the honor of accompanying me to our graduation dinner?" Nope, I wasn't trying to be cute. Yep, I was dead serious. And yeah, no, don't do that. I guess if you lived on the American frontier or you were a sea captain in jolly old England a hundred years ago or something, formality and big-deal-making was a nifty way of having stuff feel special. Now it just makes everybody nervous. Who wants to be invited on some big, fancy date? The order of the day in the modern era is "casual." Nobody goes and does formal courtship anymore. In fact, the only time you'll ever even hear women talking about how much they wished a man would ask them on a formal date is when they're near the end of their twenties, and they start talking about how they've had their fill of one-night stands and bad boys and now they're finally ready to have a gentleman come and court them and eventually marry them and take care of them. Meantime, of course, while some guy is courting them, they're often still having casual things going on with the less formal guys. I know, because I've been both of those guys. Whatever you might hear otherwise, women don't like formal dates. They don't respond to them. They might think it's a classy, romantic idea, but formal dates don't get women in your bed, and they don't get women being your lovers or your girlfriends the majority of the time either. Formal dates kinda suck. So then what do you do? You simplify your dates -- more on this later -- and you ask women out in a super chill, casual way. Like so: Hey Becky, what's your schedule like this week? Let's grab some food or a drink. Boom, done. Not so hard once the formality's gone. Don't kill yourself trying to figure out exactly the perfect thing to say -- you're just asking her out.